From 2014 me to 2015 me

To Cyn,

Remember, you cannot control what others think.
Just be yourself.
Do your own things, while in consideration for others.
Better yourself.
Be the best you can be.
Do not compare.
This will lead to a much less stressful life.
You will thank me for it in December 2015.

From Cyn

2014

End of 2014 is fast approaching and nothing beats an end-of-year-reflection.

Recently, specifically after moving back from Rome, I have been feeling down and this could be due to the fact that I was no longer employed by one of the biggest fashion house in the world, I am now back on the unemployed/freelance market, the weather is a little colder here than in Rome, and my future looks quite bleak. So I have been hiding away, I have not been running as much, and generally felt a little fed up with everything, while watching those around me continue to thrive and succeed in what they emerge themselves in.

However, reading this post from Bang's blog, and speaking to Miss Waite, I have decided I needed a little cheer me up and look back on what I DID manage to accomplish this year. I do feel sometimes I overlook many things, especially because they happened to me, so I don't feel it is that big of a deal… But may be they are. So here goes.

First of all, I would love to say a massive congratulation to my friends, Jen and Jen over at Stitch & Story for having an amazing year, and continue to grow. It was such a pleasure to be able to witness their determination and to be part of this. I am so honoured. Let's hope for an even better knitting year in 2015!

Then there was the Hong Kong Standard Chartered Marathon. I didn't do the marathon, but I did do the half. And to be able to finally be part of the Bridge the Gap movement in Asia was amazing, and surprisingly intimate. It was an impromptu visit home and I am sure my parents were quite happy to see me even though it was just 6 days and I was ill for 4 of them.

This race meant a lot to me (as I have previously written in an older blog post) because this is the race my dad has participated in for a long time. Unfortunately he is a little older, so he no longer competes (well that, and he could not be bothered to spend an hour refreshing a crashed website to register due to high volume of applicants in Hong Kong, because everyone is quite famously known for blindly following whatever the trend is, true story)

Anyway, to be able to run in that race, although did not achieve a time I really wanted, was still a part of a dream come true.

And the big part of 2014 was my move to Rome, Italy. To me this felt very normal and natural, as I have been away from home since I was 10 and was always moving around (between dorm rooms, from Bristol to Hong Kong, from Bristol to London and around houses in London) so it didn't feel big. It only really hit home when I was at Gatwick Airport about to board the plane and realise I didn't know how long I would be out of the UK for and then the tears started streaming down (ok, the boyfriend being there at the airport made it worse for me too).

Luckily, the move went smoothly and pretty much everything went the way I had hoped for. I found a great flat in a great location with great people shortly. Had no problem with my phone, registering for my Codice Fiscale (kind of a national insurance number thing?) and even had the best bank manager anyone could have hoped for. Whenever I thought about Alessandro, I still thought how was that possible. (Ginny would agree with me on that).

However, the main problem I had was the language barrier, oh and I had to come back after 6 months. But let's not dwell too deep into that so I could keep this post as positive as possible.

I met some great people in Rome whom I am sure will remain my friends for a very long time. Friend I made (mind you, pretty much everyone I became friends with were all from running, funny that) were compassionate, patient, encouraging and so welcoming. Never once did I feel left out and I am so grateful for that. I knew that if I had not met them as soon as I did (landed on Sunday, met them on Monday), I would have felt a lot more lonely and wanted to come back to London more.

And how could I forget my wonderful flatmate of 3 months, Sonja! She showed me how to watch a world cup match properly with all the german etiquettes (which unfortunately I have forgotten already).

My job in Rome was amazing. It taught me so much in regards to how a fashion house operates. 

Yes, the language was a problem but because I was pretty much thrown into the deep end I had to really try to stay afloat and I think that would have been the time my brain worked its hardest in 2014. Not to brag, but I was able to pick up most things at a meeting with all other design teams and the creative directors by the time I was in the company for 3 weeks. I wanted to sleep immediately after that because I was so drained, but it was fun and challenging and stimulating. Definitely a skill I do not want to lose now that I have moved back to an english speaking country.

Then there was #ChaseSummer, which, was fun and still a bit annoyed we didn't win anything, but we were the only crew in Italy that made it into the top 5 in both Running and NTC categories. That was quite a very challenging month. Running the most I have in a very long time, and proving to myself that I do have enough motivation to do a 2 hours or 3 hours NTC workout by myself! Insane, I know.

Oh, my wisdom teeth removal! Yes, normally this is classed as a negative thing, but for me it was quite a positive experience! I have been one of those lucky souls who since I was young, even if I missed a few nights of teeth brushing I never really had any problems and never had any work done inside my mouth. But this hole on the side of my wisdom tooth was really bugging me, as I often strain my tongue trying to twist it and see if I have any food debris left inside the hole. Slowly, becoming paranoid it's going to eat away my tooth, I had to go to a dentist to get it removed. Turns out, that hole was there before my tooth was fully grown anyway and it was a dead tooth, apparently. So have to get that remove. And because my bottom one has stopped growing and was covered by gum (Have I mentioned this section will be TMI?) might as well get that out too.

So, first time getting local anaesthetic, and I couldn't help but laugh once I stopped feeling my lips. It was a weird feeling and I just cannot stop laughing. My mum heard me from the waiting room. At least it wasn't screaming. Then there was the slow 90 minutes of drilling and wriggling and pulling of the teeth. Turns out, my bones are really strong (due to the amount of sports I do) and therefore making it really difficult to get the teeth out of their socket. And because the bottom roots were really close to my nerve endings, he couldn't use too much anaesthetic. So there would be moments where I was dozing off (Yes, somehow the position I was in and with the drill in my mouth I managed to doze off) and saying 'oowwwh, that kind of hurts a little.' All in all, it was good. And the dentist said it was the longest ever for him to remove the two teeth and joked by saying 'Thank god I didn't go to the gym yesterday'. He was sweating by the end. Glad I was able to be part of his daily work out.

Now the last month in Rome was quite hard. I was still working, trying to work as hard as I could for a company that I didn't know how I felt towards. Part grateful and part annoyed? But I kept working hard right until the last day and felt this was the right and the only thing I should have done.

I ran more, by myself, seeing more of Rome, and with friends, cramming in as much time spent with them as possible. Then there was the food. Trying to eat as much as possible, mainly gelato (still need to try more in London but am quite happy with the ones I have found). Then there is the headache with finding a removal company and asking for compensation from my work without overstepping my boundaries.

Alas, everything went smoothly and I am back in London. Slightly deflated but am happy to have my boyfriend and all my friends here to pick me up. And all the virtue love I receive from my family and my aunts. I am so eternally grateful for everyone that helped me.

One last thing that I would love to share is some running related facts. I finished 2013 with a great PB of 44.18 which I thought was enough for my ability. But this year, despite the lack of racing and the constant moving and stressfulness, so happy I received a new PB of 43.15. This makes me feel like I can actually may be achieve that sub 43 and get into the 42minutes zone. I am going to work hard and see where my legs take me in 2015. I do love a 10k race.

Now, onto the brighter and bigger 2015. I have set myself some goals, including running a marathon, finding a job or ways to maintain a stable incomes. Lots of projects and design ideas in my mind that I would love to be realised towards the beginning of 2015. Friends that I have made towards the end of this year that I am so grateful to have met. Friends that I have since the beginning of time and have always been there to support me whenever I felt down. Friends that I have drifted apart with but managed to grow even closer together now. Family that I have not spoken to a long time but are now speaking more than ever. And all the opportunities and chances that came along the way, because people believed in me, or felt I was capable of doing and completing.

What a long post and thanks for reading, for those that did. Have a virtually knitted scarf on me and have a happy holiday and a great new year!

C

x

Mo Madness

What a weekend it has been. Having been away in Rome where the procedure in order to obtain a place in a race is so hideous (something to do with having to join a qualified run club who will provide all the needed medical certifications) that I stayed away from entering, thus I had 6 very non-competitive months of running.

Having been back in London for close to 3 months now, this was one of the big events I was really looking forward to. To be able to race, in a run where a huge amount of crew love will be present just proved how much I have missed this city and how I would not call anywhere else home.

A little about the run itself. It is THAT crazy race in November that takes place in Greenwich Park, where we are required to run two laps of this really horrible course, where only masochistic runners will put themselves through. But aside from that, it's all fun and games.

Lots of moustaches, real or fake (note that I had a knitted one which I think might be a fashion trend that really should catch on, people, make your orders here!). Lots of testosterone, macho-macho-ness. And laughters.

The day of the race was perfect. We could not have asked for a better day. The weather was great, breezy but not choppy, fresh but not sub zero, sunny but not boiling. Thanks to the incredible organisation skills of Glenn, he has managed to entered a whooping 167 Run Dem Crew runners into the race. It was a truly RDC takeover moment. We all met up at the tent, encouraging words were exchanged and good luck pats given. Of course, numerous amounts of photos were taken and smiles exchanged.

As the race started, I was kind of stuck in the middle of the racing lines, between a guy racing in ladies bikini, and too many curious under-the-breathe mumbling, 'who are these rdc guys? What is this crew love hashtag printed on the back of tshirts?' And I thought, just you wait and see, then all your questions in life will be answered.

It took me a good kilometre and a half (in my beard, might I add) to finally break through from walls of people lining before me in the race. I must have sworn, tutted and pushed during that frustrated distance. But when I broke free, with Mark, who was the most amazing pacer, it was amazing. We were running down the hill, I saw all the other rdc shirt clad people before me. If I was overtaking any of them, I would give them a light pat, 'you good?' Or just a thumbs up and a manly all-knowing nod. Then there were those so fast who were already climbing back up the hill.

I would be lying if I say my palm was completely fine after race day and it didn't hurt from all those high fives. It really hurts.

Now, the juicy part of the race. Those hills. Oh haha, those hills. There is one around 3k mark, which is a tiny one so that doesn't really count I guess. To be honest, the whole park was very up and down, so there really wasn't a long stretch of the course where it was truly flat. But that second hill, the glorious hill where you can fly down at about sub 6min mile and feel really amazing and accomplished with yourself. Then you realise you have to run back up the exact same hill. Yea.

It took a lot out of me, these hills. Mostly because the rest of the course was not exactly flat. So I could feel my thighs and calves working and by the time I was ready to attack this monster I was quite drained already.

But the cheer crew really did make a difference. For people who are lone wolves and run by themselves all the time, they might not appreciate it and might have thought, what a nuisance, move along. But we weren't there to annoy anyone, everyone cheering are runners. They know what pain everyone is going through. So hearing their cheering was one of the most encouraging sound you could hear.
But their placement was a slight problem. They were located at a point where the following thoughts would be going through my head, and I think my facial expressions would betray me too:

- Oh downhill, yay. Oh wait, have to come back up. Sh*t.
- Just one more kilometre to go, I am dying.
- I really want to stop. That hill killed me. Oh crap, there are people at the top.
- I am so tired. I can't feel my thighs. Crap, there are people.
- I really want to stop. Oh there is Ash, I need to look good for photos.

Those are the general lines of thoughts I had. I really do feel that without the crew there, I would have stopped. I didn't think I was really able to kept attacking the course with that hill placed at 4k and at 9k. But the crew love got me through it. And also Mark's very encouraging words. He really knows how to get a very competitive person all riled up.

After the race, and I feel the need to point out the lacking of those amazing bacon sandwiches that I went there for, I joined the cheer crew and met with all those that ran, that won, that owned and that attacked the course. What a truly magical moment, and how glad I was to be part of this all accepting crew.

It wasn't the biggest improvement on my PB on my 10k course, but an improvement is an improvement. I managed to come home with 44:13, 7th lady home. Quite happy with that, but next time I will aim higher, and stick to it and not give up.

A such a huge thank you to Mark. All those moments that I was struggling, and was ready to let you go on ahead, 'go, I am dragging you back.' 'Just leave me, you can run so much faster than this.' Thank you for not leaving and believing and kept pushing me.

On and up to the next challenge.

All photos on this post are taken by Ash Narod, at Ash Narod Photography