When I was in Rome, I was very involved with activities held by Nike. Almost every Monday you will find me at NTC, and every thursday, hitting that pavements hard with the Tiber Runners. I would also head to Stadio die Marmi myself or with some friends, to crash it out there on the track, ranging from speed work (20x200m+200m) or endurance (8-12x800m), then on the weekend I will most likely be taking in scenic views along the Tiber river, or through the many parks in Rome. Not to mention all the times I would have the company of Luna the Maltese at home while listening to Leah Kim or Joselynne Boschen on NTC, telling me to keep breathing while sweating through the summer heat.
I was exercising at least an hour 6 days a week, if not more. I think the Chase Summer challenge also made me push myself a little harder too, going back out to work on my fitness a day after the extraction of two wisdom teeth.
However, now back in London, in a more dull, grey, cold, wet setting, I have found myself losing motivation ever so slightly. It might be a combination of having to look for work, and flat that is making me feel very defeated.
I am also extremely competitive with myself, as well as with others (many have had to dealt with it multiple of times) so when I see some truly amazing feat the women in my running community have achieved, I feel very empowered, yet at the same time I will a little bit useless.
I have set goals for myself, but I am always comparing, so whenever I have set any goals, I see what other people are doing and then feel a little worthless with my goals as they seem just that little more insignificant.
Some of my friends are progressing and increasing their abilities at such a fast pace, that sometimes, I can't help but feel left behind. But I only have myself to blame. I probably didn't put that hard work in, and this exact thought really beats me down, and I lose just that little bit more motivation.
To try and shake that feeling, I try to do as much exercise in a group setting as possible, submerge myself into the group encouraging, and crew love setting. And I have to admit, I do feel better. I just need to be able to feel like this at times even without those cheering on. Of course, by no means am I resentful or anything to other people's success, in fact I am so happy for all those achieving what they set out to do and becoming successful and happy. I just have yet to shake away that part of my personality, where I am constantly comparing myself with other people, and judging myself according to what other people have done.
Luckily, one of my favourite work out of the week is always in a group setting, and it is always with a bunch of, suicidal, insane people who do nothing, but their best, while encouraging everyone else alongside them. Even if I have not ran for a whole week, even if I have not exercise for a whole week, I don't think I would miss a session of Track Mafia at RDC West, unless I am not in London.
Yes, the work outs are hard, but there is always the sense of security that, if you push really hard, the worst that can happen is you fall, your legs go jelly and you had to crawl to the start line, which, can only really be 200m away at the furthest. I can really challenge myself and others in this environment and that is what I love the most about it. There is also a great structure, so we stick to a work out for several weeks, so I can hopefully see an improvement in my performance throughout before moving onto the next challenge.
I have been feeling blue the whole of last week, but track session had really pumped me up good and I have just done 30 minutes of weight and 30 minutes of core at home. I hope I am getting my motivation back. And I have all my friends on track to thank, as well as Coach Cory.
(Photo Credit: Ash Narod Photography)
