Cynthia's Cycling Adventure #1

I was one of those kids that never had the chance to learn how to cycle. By the time I realised it would be a great activity to know, I was at the stage of intelligence where I need to visualise most things, and have them explained to me; i.e., why is this done this way, why can’t I do that? But where does this go?

So, after a few spaced out cycling rides in 2011 where I never really properly learnt the skill; I was just basically going as fast as I can and hoping for the best; I have decided I need to really take the plunge.

Luckily, Claire (of De.Tour) was there to help. From what I see, she’s a competent, comfortable cyclist that all the things she could do on her bikes; for a novice learner like myself, could only ever dream of doing them, in my dream, on my imaginary bicycle. Therefore, I figured she is a good reassuring force to be with.

Our first ride started off from where her amazing yellow Tokyo Bike is, in Whitechapel, and I refused to cycle on the road, mostly because I basically didn’t know how to cycle yet. So we made the 15-20 minutes want to Victoria park and began our long intertwined cycling journey (a tad dramatic there, but hey).

There were children running around, children on bikes also learning how to ride, ducks, geese, twigs, many things that obstructed my very wide cycling paths. I kept making funny noises, randomly losing control on my bike and shouting ’Too narrow’ whenever we came across any gates, slightly smaller pavements and bollards. And I think the highlight of that day, was when I had an itchy nose and I took my hand off the handle bar to scratch it (yes, scratch, not picking, Claire), I suddenly lose balance and hit the curb. Nothing was hurt, luckily. 

Then a man saw the whole thing and told me ‘Don’t drink and ride.’ I might be said something along the line ‘I am learning’ back at him, or I might have just laughed nervously while I tried to cycle off, with my feet frantically looking for the pedals.

My second cycle ride involved us finally cycling from point to point, from Whitechapel, through to a little local park where I learn to go in a circle (where Claire made sure to point out that I was slowly closing the gap between the bike and the centre and I was cycling a much smaller circle), actually cycling on real roads and mastering going through narrow paths, and me learning to shout ‘Too close’ when my bike got ridiculously close to Claire’s and not knowing what to do apart from crashing into her and ultimately me falling off my bike. There were passerby this time too. Charming.

Third ride was quite an adventurous one, where Claire bravely took me from Whitechapel, to Tower Bridge (yes, I crossed Tower Bridge on my third lesson), to the back to London bridge, Waterloo, to a roundabout at Lambeth Bridge, into Hyde Park and all the way up to Regent’s Park with bits on the narrow canal too. 13 miles done in a pace that’s slower than running, but I was very pleased.

Then there were two rides on the Boris Bikes, where I confidently suggested I can ride along side my friends and their bikes, and started to use cycling as mean of transportation. I even managed to park my bike into the docks while cycling it. I think I am doing something right. That, and Claire is doing something very very right.

On my birthday we also did a cycling ride. This is the first time I experienced feeling uneasy on the bike because the saddle was set up the way it should, but too high for me. Which up to this point it has always been at its lowest position as I feel very very uncomfortable and insecure if my feet doesn’t properly touch the ground when they are off the pedals. I crashed into a stationary pedestrian. Which my excuse for that was she was in my way (and she was standing with her bike in the wrong lane also) but it led to her father being very french and mean to me. And then Claire presented me with my birthday present which is my first ever cycling helmet. Now I am calling myself a cyclist.

Now this is the part I have been eagerly waiting to get to.

My Seventh Cycle Ride (Yes it requires as many capital letters as possible) was my first ever long distance cycle ride, covering 57 miles, from London, to Brighton.

I had the pleasure to share this milestone in my cycling journey with Claire, Magda (Bae), Murdo, Bradders, Naomi, and Rixt. 

Here are some jumbled thoughts that I can recall from that journey.

- Still in London.

- It’s been an hour, still in London.

- Oh, this looks more like the country side, next stop Brighton.

- Nope, not yet.

- Hills. Is this the Beacon?

- Where is this Fanny’s Farm?

- We are not even half way yet?!?!

- Very white.

- M25!

- Next stop Brighton.

- Nope, not yet.

- Hills. Is this the Beacon?

- More hills. This got to be the Beacon.

- Why did Claire say this was easy and flat?

- I hate you Claire. (Actually said, at the top of Turner’s Hill)

- My ****** hurts.

- Oh…….

- This is the Beacon.

- Can I run up the the hill with the bike instead of cycling up this road?

- I am going to die. (This is when I got off my bike and I ran/walked the rest of the way up while pushing my bike.)

- This is like perfect training for triathlon transitions.

- I want to cry (Which I didn’t, but I got very closed to, and then I blamed my swallowing hard and shallow breaths on the height of the hill, less oxygen up here.)

- Oh I am here.

- I want to cry.

- Downhill.

- This is how I die.

I progressively got better and faster as the bike ride went on and I became more and more comfortable on the two wheels. At one point I even offered to put my saddle up! (as mentioned before, it has always stayed very low).

This journey was quite an incredible one, so many feelings were felt. Up to this point, I had not really experienced defeat to this extreme (in regards with cycling up the Beacon) and I really had to stay emotional strong and not break down that way I might have if I honed in on the ‘Why can’t I cycle up the Beacon? Because I am crap at this’ feeling. I kept trying to tell myself ‘this is ok, come on, it will be ok’ and it was quite a new sensation for me. I wouldn’t say I had a big epiphany and learnt a whole lot about myself because I didn’t, but I now know how this vulnerability feels. Next time hopefully I will get better at dealing with this sensation.

Luckily this trip was done on the bike so my legs weren’t too damaged and I kept feeling like I haven’t really done anything that significant. Because I didn’t run it. So friends kept having to remind me that not many people would have cycled to Brighton, let alone someone who has only learned the skill 2 months ago. I guess.

Learning this skill has allowed me to take part in so many more activities without holding people back (unless we are talking about my speed, then yes it is probably still holding people back). For example when we went to Copenhagen the week after, it was only natural for us to rent bikes to sight see and travel within the city and I didn’t even think twice. No I lied. I did think twice once I heard THERE WAS NO BACK BRAKE AND YOU HAD TO PEDAL BACKWARDS TO BRAKE. However, I got used to that quite quickly and was able to manoeuvre my very lovely bike around the beautifully cyclist-friendly planned city.

I started to become more confident and after I returned from Copenhagen, I asked Dan to chaperone me, from Maida Vale back to Shepherd’s Bush, him on his very nice and fast carbon everything bike, and me on my boris bike. It was late at night so this was my first night time cycling and I enjoyed it very much. Especially because the roads were mostly empty and we were going through a lot of back streets that were really calming.

Then my 9th ride was this Sunday, instead of focusing on myself, Claire and I were cycling with others, some happy to cycle on the road but not at super sonic speed, and others who weren’t so confident on the road. My-ha, Vanessa, Dougie, Claire and I had so much fun, doing laps in Victoria Park (where I constantly pointed out where certain things happened) and me seeing myself having improved from my first ride ever. ALSO I STOOD UP ON MY BIKE. And Claire and I shared a very special moment, where I was trying to become better at cycling with one hand on my bike (I had to master this very quickly as my nose is always itchy) and she sneakily came up from behind and held my hand, we then cycled for about 10m before letting each other go).

Then going to London fields and doing laps there (also where I had my second ever cycle ride, and when I pointed out where I first learned to ring my bell and suddenly lost balance, Claire admitted she didn’t remember and we had a brief falling out moment). And then we cycled to Haggerston for food at Toconoco before going to Shoreditch for my Knitathlon.

It was a great sensation when I feel like I was always helping others on the bike, despite me not being very good on it yet. And I enjoyed it very much. I hope to do more rides like this with other nervous cyclists, and we help each other to become better and more confident.

And the most recent cycle ride, also my 10th cycle ride, I decided to commemorate this no other than to do a solo ride. It wasn’t long. It was only 1.5 miles, from Haggerston down Kingland’s Road to Shoreditch. The only difficult part was after the cross road onto Shoreditch High Street, I would have to signal right, cycle into the middle of the road and cut across oncoming traffic to go down right onto Bateman’s Row and then through to New Inn’s Yard to get to the docking station.

At the traffic light just before the cross road, I was waiting eagerly behind a bus, along with other cyclists and I could see and feel my leg shivering, and shaking, it was a great feeling. But also greater once I got to my destination in one piece.

Next stop, more cycle rides, where I would actually learn to lead and be more confident on the road.

Stubborn creatures

As a runner, I have to say, I am not addicted to it.

Yes I run quite often, three times a week at least, and when it’s intense training period I will run up to 4/5 times a week. But I am not addicted.

Sometimes I see those memes and jokes, comparing runners high to drugs and how if we are addicted to running we shouldn’t even considering trying heroin. Well first good thing is I never considered that, second good thing is I am just not that addicted.

When I don’t go for a run for a week or so I guess I will get a little down. But this is not because I am crashing for not injecting some runners high into me, that is just from me not being active. So this post actually brings me to point out, if I am injured, I am not really bothered if I don’t go running.

The above video was shown to me by Joe, a sport masseur that I have been visiting lately at BodyCure, thanks for Claire’s and Alex’s recommendation. 

I often speak to and surround myself with fellow runners and I don’t think I have ever experienced a time where none of us are injured all at once. How odd. We weren’t newbies, we have all been running for awhile yet it seems like we are constantly injuring ourselves doing an activity that we seem to love the most. But, as we know from articles and people’s words, running will F up your knees and legs and its a super damaging sport.

Well, speaking from my own experience I have had one very serious (well, comparing to only my own injuries) problem about 3 years ago and it was my ITB. I have been running casually for about 6 months at that point and one sunny day, in Regent’s Park, whilst running I suddenly felt this sharp pain on the side of my knee and caused me to have to stop immediately. I didn’t know what was happening. Prior to this I never had problems before so I never researched regarding runners injury. I only remember being in a panic state as I have Bupa10k in 6 weeks time and I was so eagerly hoping for a PB. So I did a quick search on the internet and found the closest physio to my flat, Tatami Health and swiftly booked my first appointment, hoping to cure my knee as soon as possible.

Little did I know, this was not just a random injury that you might get, like if you kick your little toe on the side of some furniture, or fall down a flight of stairs and badly bruising your body. This was the result of a long process, mostly because there were other factors lacking in my running habits, i.e. stretching (oh how important it is to stretch) and strengthening (oh how important it is to strengthen). 

ITB = I have weak glutes. I was over compensating by running with a strange form and angle which courses other muscles to tighten and in a result straining it, leading to the pain I felt on the side of my knee. I made several more appointments with the physic, did the exercise and was able to be back on the road within a week. This is also probably because it was early stage of the injury, so instead of it actually being severely injured, it was a yellow light signal letting me know what is going on in my legs.

Fast forward three years, I have now changed my running postures and style, I am a lot more aware of my gait and my choice of footwear (though I still wear a lot of Nikes, I can’t help it if they look so pretty on my feet) and I listen to my body. I have also done a lot more research in terms of other type of running injuries, its causes, symptoms and treatments. Our body is one big machine, one little hiccup in the turning wheel in an insignificant area can lead to the biggest damage to its system down the line. 

Because of this little experience I have had 3 years ago, I realise a lot more how important it is to mix up your training, to work out parts of your body that is not worked when running, to strengthen the base foundation muscle groups to enable better efficiency, and to understand different scenarios you put your body through.

I guess this is why when I am injured, or stressed or am feeling fatigued I never over push myself. Yes I get fidgety when I don’t exercise, but I do not overwork my body, especially because I am afraid on missing out. Missing out on the fun, missing out on the opportunity to get fitter and missing out on the discipline I am putting my body through. When I feel pain, I know this is a sign my body is telling me it needs a rest. Or certain part of it needs to rest, so I switch things up. I go swimming, I do weights, I work on my core.

This is something I feel many people I know do not necessarily do and sometimes it worries me. I spoke to a girl before and she was having pain in her legs whilst running on a soft surface. I asked her what it was and may be she should stop. She told me she can’t because she needed to do 5 miles today and another 6 tomorrow. I just looked at her. I didn’t know what else to say to her apart from ‘you’re going to hurt yourself’ but I know even if I did say that to her, she wouldn’t listen because in her mind, she had it set that if she doesn’t follow the training plan, if she doesn’t do as she should, she will lose her fitness, she would have failed and she needed to prove that she can still do it, even with pain in her legs, in the part of her body that she needs the most whilst running.

It is commendable when you try your best at everything you do, but I personally do not agree in pushing yourself past the limit that you can actually withhold, just to prove a point that, actually, only you, yourself is going to care. But in the process of proving to yourself, you have also damaged yourself to a point that might cause you to lose all your motivation and interest for the future.

So sometimes you just have to ask yourself, do you want to do this for the next 3 months, or the next 3 decades.

Other friends have expressed that they have been in this limbo before, being injured and unable to run but only running can help relieve stress. So it becomes a vicious cycle. I guess this is a stage where most runners will have to go through, and there is nothing you can really do about it. No matter how much you speak at them, try to persuade them or even have an intervention, they won’t really change their mindset because in case you haven’t heard, runners are normally quite the stubborn species. Now that is one observation people make about us that I can agree on.

Marathon High

Woah. Incredible.

First ever official marathon done.

Originally coming off from a runner’s high from my Track marathon, I was very much set on doing the marathon out in Copenhagen. But I didn’t want that to be my first one. I enjoy the support you normally get at an oversea race, especially if you are doing it with so many of you crew and others too. But something in my mind told me I wanted to do that as my second marathon. The first one, a one that I have been putting off for so long in fear of the time I am going to get, I wanted to do it by myself, somewhere without anyone else from my crew.

So after some quick research, I set my eyes upon Worcester Marathon. It was way out of London and also during the same weekend as Paris, Brighton and Rotterdam. Perfect.

The next thing was to keep it quiet. I booked my train ticket and hotel the same say as I entered the race, making sure I will not back out of it. This was back at the beginning of February. So I had two months to train for it and not really let it get in my way of socialising, so people won’t be suspecting. Harder than I thought. I also wanted to share this ambition with those that were closest to me.

Leading up to the race, I have had some doubts. I had some serious calves problem that put my in a bad running place for 2 to 3 weeks. I also had a cough which meant I couldn’t run as much. There were moments where I was really frustrated and felt annoyed and ashamed at myself. This was my first marathon and now that I have finally committed to running it, I was extremely worried I would not complete it in the manner that I had hoped.

But running the Spitfire20 miles race a few weeks put me back on track in terms of confidence. I know I have it in my legs to run the distance, but it was slowly daunting on me that I would be running a two loops country side course, with no cheer dem, with no music, only green fields for company.

I hadn’t done much course research. All I know is we will be running through 4 villages, and we will begin the race with the half marathoners, and that hopefully it would not be too hilly.

Friday night I stayed home, and felt surprisingly calm. I guess there wasn’t too much hype going into this race, and I didn’t feel like I was expected to achieve any time apart from the one I set for myself. Saturday was the day I travelled up to Worcester and what a quaint little town. It almost reminds me of every other small town that I have visited, their high streets definitely all look the same!

My hotel was 4 miles out of the city centre, but 15 minutes walk to the start line which was perfect. I had a very quiet night in, speaking to those that knew about the race and expressing my excitement and also for them as well, as many were also running Paris Marathon and Brighton Marathon.

It was a strange sensation, approaching the start line knowing that I know no one there at the race. It was like how I started back 3/4 years ago, when I approached to my first ever 10k race in Hyde Park. Being by myself and just thinking through whatever was in my mind. The only difference this time was I am no longer the timid runner I once was. I openly spoke to other runners also waiting in my pen, expressing our aim and hope for a goal time during the race, wishing each other good luck.

Throughout the course, there were other runners I spoke to. It was quite funny, as I was mostly surrounded by middle aged white male runners throughout the whole race. I guess this is what the races look like when you leave London. They probably never really see a blonde asian much normally.

My legs were still trying to find its rhythm around mile 4 to mile 5 but I didn’t worry too much, I knew I would feel good soon. And I was right, approaching mile 10 and I was feeling fresh. At this point, I was averaging 7:32-7:40 minutes miles. I was quite happy with this pace. And at mile 11, a fellow runner named Simon caught up with me and expressed that how I helped him kept going and he was going to stick with me for as long as possible. It was the nicest thing I have ever heard and so we swapped stories and thoughts throughout the miles we ran together. He told me how he always crashes at mile 22 so I said let’s try and aim to crash at mile 23 this time instead. He also expressed how I had a great command voice (we were running on country side road, so cars were coming, so I was saying lots of ‘stay right’ and ‘cyclist’ and met with thumbs up from in front), and that my voice just sounds very positive and how he found that very inspiring.

Let me take a moment out and just say thank you to Run Dem Crew for training me so this positivity can be seen and felt by others! That comment just made my day so much.

However, because we got a little excited and carried away while chatting, at points we were hitting 7:20 to 7:30 minutes mile, we were at mile 12 just shy of 1 hour 30 minutes. So around mile 19, I started to feel the ache. My legs weren’t getting heavy, but my hips started to feel achey. My quads were feeling some burning sensation and I kept thinking just keep moving and it will be gone. Nope. Lactic acid wasn’t going to listen to me.

So from about mile 22 to 26 I had a lot of stopping. Not proud of those moments but I tried to keep them short. Whenever I passed anyone that had stopped to walk I would ask them if they are ok and give them a thumb up. So I was so grateful when something similar happened to me. There was a guy that I passed earlier and I asked him if he was doing ok. Two other runners must have picked him up and when I just stopped and walked a little, they came passed me and they told me to not give up and join them, and let them carry me through. HOW NICE! They were club runners too.

This course was not as flat as I had hoped. Lots of inclines, not major hills, but lots of hills up until mile 25. At one point I think I was walking up one hill faster than someone running it. I see this as ultra marathon training. I picked up my pace again for the last mile and I see the finish line. I kept my smile on (A marshall was so nicely telling me how I looked as strong as I did a lap ago), and finished strong. I picked my legs up and I think I came home just a little over 3hr35min.

It is a little slower than what I had hoped to do. So obviously there will be a part of me hoping I did better and wished I had more training. But another part of me is thinking, I just came home as the 4th female (yes, it was a small running field, that’s why) and that I should be enjoying it.

I don’t think I will dwell into this race too much and get myself too worked up, I will just let it pass and at least now I have Copenhagen (ULTRA FLAT) to look forward to, knowing what part of me needs working on. 

Well done to everyone who ran Paris, Brighton and Rotterdam today. Today was a good day.

A Quarter way through

It is now a quarter way through 2015. And has been quite a while since I last updated my blog, so I thought I would use this opportunity to review how my year has been so far.I went into 2015 carrying some negative weight from 2014.

I have moved back from Rome for a couple of months, unable to find any work. I was crashing at my then-boyfriend’s place, hopelessly trying to find a new flat to move into that is affordable and in the area I wanted to be in. I was losing motivation to do any exercise and running and I had to rely solely on those around me and their energy to carry me through any physical work.

And then I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, and I moved flat the day after. This was two weeks before going into 2015.

So needlessly to say, 2015 didn’t have the best start. Or so I thought.1st of January, I was called last minute to fill a spot for the new year’s day serpentine 10k in Hyde Park, followed by a lovely pub lunch with Sarah and all the others, proving that I was never completely alone.

I share my new flat with two girls and although we have different time schedule and professions and lifestyle, we bond extremely well and I am happy that I have found this new little nest for myself.

After regaining my running motivation again, I have done some races, some track madness, and other incredible group runs, even done my first ever pacing duty, fuelled by nothing but amazing laughter and love. I met and made new friends, I strengthen a lot of my friendship that I have neglected during that time I was with someone. I revisited old friendships that I might have forgotten and have put on the back burner.

Thanks for Claire, she has warmly included me into her life and has gave me so much of her time, to teach me the one thing I have always put off - cycling. Three sessions in and I am crossing bridges and screaming around a roundabout.

I gained my confidence again back in the pool, thanks to Ash and seeing his and all the other’s courage with taking on an amazing challenge. I don’t think there was another time in the last few years that I am feeling as alive as I feel currently.

Through RDC, I have met people who have given me so much opportunities regarding work, and those always on the lookout for me.

Like I have previously mentioned so many times, there has been no other time I needed this crew love more and I have found it right where I was standing. It has always been there, I have just never really opened up myself completely to be emerged into it.I am still looking to better my work and career. There is still a lot to do, but hopefully I am moving in the right direction.

There had been so much doubts coming into 2015 but from where I am standing right now, I am pretty chuffed about it all.

2015, I have many more hopes and dreams that I would like them to be recognised, but to be honest, I should just be thankful for where I am at and who I have by my sides already.

Chasing PB

2015. New PB.

I remember when I first started running, my 10k time was 50 minutes or 51 minutes.

A year later, and I was still around 47 minutes mark. Thought a year went on and I was still at 47 minutes mark. I was so frustrated with myself. Being very competitive with my inner demon, I thrive on progress so this was very hard for me to admit to myself, may be I just wasn't as good as I had hoped.

Then after joining a running club, within the first few months I dropped a minute for my time and I thought, oh wow, may be I still have room to improve. A few months gone by and my time kept dropping until 8 months after joining the running group, it was down to 44.18. The joy that I had, the surprise, and the adrenaline when I saw that time.

That was also when I decided I will try and run half marathons now that I am more than ok with my 10k time.

Another year went by and having ran in several longer distance races, and a few impromptu long runs initiated by myself or friends, I was ready to shave a few more minutes off my 10k time.

First race back from Rome was the MoRunning 10k in Greenwich park with the horrendous hills. I did better than last year but only with a few seconds off. I wasn't satisfied. I could feel the training and runs I did in Rome has built me up as a stronger runner so this time was a disappointment for myself. So what did I do? I signed up for another 10k a week later.

It was the Regent's Park 10k, 3 laps of the park. I ran this once and didn't particularly enjoyed it. But now I wasn't there to run to see scenic routes. I wanted a time and a multiple-lapped course in my opinion is one of the best to run if I want to chase a time.

When I started, I began picking up runners as I started a little further at the back. I would like to think of myself as a feminist, equality is very important to me, but there is something rewarding when I only compare my race time with fellow female runners and see myself ranked slightly higher. Of course, I have a great sense of joy when I run pass male runners and them trying to keep up too.

I like to count how many female runners there are in front of me and my aim is to reel them in, and pick them up, one by one. This tactic worked very well in a lapped course as I can see who is in front of me when we turn corners. There was this one girl that I picked up, but soon after she sped past me. And I thought 'no way Jose.' so I picked up my legs and made sure she stayed behind me.

Behind me she stayed. I could hear her breathing, I could hear her steps, I could almost feel the wind gushing past me as she surge her arms while chasing me. On the third lap, one of the marshall said to me, I think you are the 3rd or 4th lady. I just thought 'no, don't say that out loud, now that girl is going to want to overtake me.' So I really gave it my all. At the downhill I picked up speed because I know if she doesn't over take me at this point of the course, she is very unlikely to do so any other parts. And I was right. I sprinted to the finish, 43.15. I turned around and she was right there. We shook hands and congratulated each other. What a strong runner and it made me so proud to have been able to play this mental cat and mouse chasing game with her. 

Worth a mention, it was also the first time my name was on the sheet that they used to call out and give out prizes for the winners. I came in 4th in my category. No mention but my name was there, next to my crew name Run Dem Crew.

Fast forward 2 months and I was standing at the starting line for the Winter Run series. Well more like climbing over the fence while almost falling, and the marshall trying to scream at us for doing so. Oops. We needed to get to the front of the first wave.

I was very familiar with this route, having done Bupa 10k 3 times before. I love this route, not only because its scenic and flat, there are hidden inclines and declines that if you didn't know about, they could actually hurt you a little during the run. Those deceiving tunnels and back streets.

Mark and Dan started before me and I wanted to stick with Dan as he was going for a time I wanted to do as well. He was running really strong and he had a big lead from me for the whole run, but I made sure he was in sight.

Notes: When I was running at one point, a spectator said to her daughter 'Look, someone wearing lipsticks' Hell yeah, a girl got to look good when she is racing.

I loved running past St Paul's and the bells were ringing, I was so elevated by that sound it must have pushed my leg harder. Also I kept something Warwick said to me a few days ago in my mind 'I love the feeling when my feet barely touches the ground.' Why have I never thought of that? I always focus on the pain my quads are having, I never care to think that if i continue to run fast, it is almost like the feeling of flying.

There were quite marshals and volunteers and as usual, I never forget to thank all of them, give them a thumb up and give them some cheer. Because in return they will give you a response so emotionally strong that it can really help you add more speed into those legs.

When we were near the finish, I did my usual counting ritual and when I see that finish line, I just had to go for it. Jamie passed me earlier on in the race and again I kept him in sight, and when I sprinted, I went right past him and heard him said 'Oh no you didn't.' At that point, the only thing going through my mind was 'Do not let him go past you again' so I just sprinted. Surprisingly I still had enough in my tank to do so until I crossed the finish line.

I felt a little strange as I knew I pushed myself hard, I felt that I ran fast, but my GPS watch wasn't working, there was no finish time screen for us to see. I just had to go with the feeling. But I wasn't sick, I didn't feel sick, and I didn't want to be sick. This worried me as I felt, what if I didn't really push myself as hard? I was so tired and out of breathe when I did my Serpentine New Year 10k.

Then, over breakfast, Mark brought me the best news I had ever wanted to hear. He checked our finish times and I finished in 42.34. A whooping 40 seconds faster than my previous PB. I didn't think I was capable for a sub 43 so quickly after I ran it, so this was the best surprise I could have asked for.

It is only February of 2015 and I still have many other races booked. I am so excited and a little nervous running into this year, and seeing what performance awaits me.

26.2 on track

TrackMafia, as previously mentioned, is where you push yourself to the limit with those around you, creating a special bond that I feel could not necessarily be achieved in other areas of my life.

These people have seen me sweat, yell, swear and many other unattractive qualities and still choose to be my friends, pushing me on towards my next goal.

Well, I believe this weekend we might have taken it to another level.

An idea that I saw last year, was of Ash attempting a marathon distance run, 26.2 miles, around the track. Now, a track is 400m long each lap, 4 laps and it makes a mile. You can do the maths. That's 105 laps.

I believe he got to 87 laps (by himself may I add, with the cheering of Track crew) and was told that the track is closing and he had to leave. That was a dream of his left unfinished.

Fast forward to 2015 January, well actually I have always had the thought about doing this ever since I saw Ash posted about it. I love a good mental challenge. I am always the one wanting to do repeats of the same thing. Some people will think that's crazy and that they need new scenery to keep their minds off things.

For me, I enjoy the repeats because I feel like I am then in control. I know what's coming, I am familiar with the route. So doing 105 laps on track didn't really faze me. Though doing it by myself did. I needed to find someone as crazy as me that would agree to this idea. Ash was out of the picture because he had an injury. So I asked Mark. We have always ran together and even though he is super fast now and has left me behind, I always enjoy his company.

'No, you are crazy' was his reply, or something similar to it. But who should I ask next? I was going through a struggle because I didn't want to ask too many people as I don't really want anyone knowing this. Because what if I failed and people asked about it afterwards? I would be mortified! Plus I didn't think I wanted that pressure of 'proving' to people I could do it.

So one thursday evening after TrackMafia, I mentioned this again with Ash and Warwick was present and I believed his ears might have perked up at the suggestion. He agreed. But I didn't know how committed he was to the idea.

Monday evening after RDC West, I asked him again. This time he was more certain with his 'yes' and thus began our 6 days mental preparation.

The last long distance run I did was back in September while I was still in Rome, 27km in mild summer weather, and I believe for Warwick it was around that time too, or a little later. Also, worth pointing out, in December when I was going through my runner's blue, I think I ran a total of 21 miles. What I am trying to say is, neither of us were really prepared.

I went into this thinking, it's on a track, when I feel tired I can just stop and all my things will be there. Water, food, phone. I won't be lost somewhere 13 miles away from central London.

I had a terrible dinner the night before and only managed to have a banana-filled vegetable and fruit smoothie with crunchy nuts in the morning. I have previously prepared this chocolate/peanut butter/oats balls as fuel. I have never been a big gel person. The last time I did a marathon distance run (again it was unofficial, I was doing the training runs with my friend) I had fruits pastilles with me.

On the day, we wanted to start at 10am, but then there was chances of snow so we postponed it to 11am, thinking it could help for the ice to thaw. Then when we did arrive, we were all late, the track was booked to be used until 12.30. I was beginning to worry that we wouldn't be able to do this challenge given all these obstacles! But nothing could stop us now.

Before Ash arrived (as the resident track photographer) Warwick and I already began our run. I didn't want to run super fast. If I could run a Boston Qualifying time (3hr35min for me) I would be happy, and after calculation that is 8 minutes/mile. In my mind I decided to break up the run at mile 10 and mile 20 so we could stop (for less than a minute) for water and fuel and back on the run again, so mentally it helped too. At mile 7 Ash arrived and made a comment that our pace was too fast (we were averaging 7.35-7.40 minutes/mile at this point). But we felt good. We were chatting, not taking it too seriously, sharing life stories, keeping our minds of the track, basically.

At mile 10 we stopped and I ate one of my chocolate balls. Had some water and we were back on our journey. We felt very fresh at that point. We were both still very familiar with this distance. Our legs were ok so we kept the pace. Conversations continue to flow and at this point, I was more aware about other people running around us, the hockey matches happening and all the dogs running around. Sun was coming out and I felt amazing.

I might have spoke too soon, around mile 17 I started to feel the muscles in my thighs. Also throughout the run my left foot had been having weird spasm where suddenly it would lose its sense and I might have limped a step. But as soon as I wriggle my toes a bit, it was ok. I am thinking this was down to the coldness. At this point Warwick kept mentioning 'Those chocolate balls.' And I just said, just think of this as a 10 mile run and that's it. We haven't ran before this and we are finishing in 3 miles. Weirdly, if I know it's 3 miles left and that equals to 12 laps, it calms me, some people might think that's the worst because you know exactly how long is left, but for me, it's comforting to know that.

At mile 20 we stopped again and this time I knew I had to have a few more calls. I ate only 1 at mile 10 and around mile 18 I could feel my stomach a little strange. I ate 3 this time round. As we took off again it took about 5 steps before my legs were moving like they should. This last 6 miles is really going to be hard. At this point we have been running for 2hr35 so the thought of possibly finishing this before 3hr35 was what fuelled me. In my head I kept doing all sorts of calculation in regards with speed, pace, finishing time, remaining time. I find that if I am focus on maths while running, it takes my mind of it a lot and it, again, calms me.

At mile 21, Ash who had been so sweet cheering us on while taking photos (I had joy trying to spot where Ash was every lap we ran) gave us the obligatory mile 21 cheer! High fives and cheers helped Warwick and I mentally, even if it's a one person crew. This is crunch time, pick up those legs and just go with it.

At mile 22 my legs felt like lead. My thighs were so heavy to pick up I really wanted to stop, so we did, for around 10 to 15 seconds, I wanted to quickly refresh my mind. On we go again and at mile 23, Warwick (finally) cracked a little and with his face in his hand, said 'I want to cry, this is why people cry when they run marathon.'

It's true, the mental and physical struggle that the distance puts you through will most definitely dig up some unfamiliar emotions, which you have no idea how to deal with but to burst it out. At one point there was a distance between myself and him but Ash reminded us to stick together and to finish strong together. So we did.

At mile 25, with 5 more laps to go, I kept a visual of a wheel and how my leg should move in a circular motion, I kept my arms up and used my core to support my now very tired lower body. I kept my breathing steady and at lap 4, I began my step counting method. Those that know me, know I am obsessed with counting my cadence at track. It helps me to remain constant and know how much and where I need to push myself to maintain my speed. 800m rep I usually get around 280 steps. 1 mile equals 560 steps. Now I am not going to be able to do that pace after just running 25 miles so I gave myself some lee way and said, 750 steps. So I counted, this kept my mind off thinking how many laps are left. I was now focused to not disappoint myself with going over my estimated steps.

Final lap, the end was so close. I sped up. Before this point we were running at 7.58-8.05 minutes/mile. But I looked at my watch and we were back on 7.32 minutes/mile. I kept going, knowing the end was near.

In fact, 26.2 miles was at a bend of the track and not the finish line, at that point, I jokingly said to Warwick 'we are now entering the ultra zone.' We kept smiling and pushing and managed to have a very strong sprint finish together.

Stopped my watch, looked at it and my heart leaped. 3 hour 24 minutes 56 seconds. We were 11 minutes faster than the intended pace and it proves to me that I am probably going to be able to run a BQ at an actual race.

It was a great day, we finished the 'race' and was immediately kicked out. The track was closing. I couldn't imagine how we would have felt if the park closed while we still had miles to go! Thinking back on this run, because it was a constant loop I lost concept of the distance we were going. The only way I felt anything was through my legs, but because we were running on track, it was much better received by our feet and knees (I am sure!) My feeling of dead at the end was definitely because of the distance and not the location. I feel I could most likely do this challenge again, or may be even step it up a notch.

All photos are taken by Ash Narod Photography

From 2014 me to 2015 me

To Cyn,

Remember, you cannot control what others think.
Just be yourself.
Do your own things, while in consideration for others.
Better yourself.
Be the best you can be.
Do not compare.
This will lead to a much less stressful life.
You will thank me for it in December 2015.

From Cyn