Chasing PB

2015. New PB.

I remember when I first started running, my 10k time was 50 minutes or 51 minutes.

A year later, and I was still around 47 minutes mark. Thought a year went on and I was still at 47 minutes mark. I was so frustrated with myself. Being very competitive with my inner demon, I thrive on progress so this was very hard for me to admit to myself, may be I just wasn't as good as I had hoped.

Then after joining a running club, within the first few months I dropped a minute for my time and I thought, oh wow, may be I still have room to improve. A few months gone by and my time kept dropping until 8 months after joining the running group, it was down to 44.18. The joy that I had, the surprise, and the adrenaline when I saw that time.

That was also when I decided I will try and run half marathons now that I am more than ok with my 10k time.

Another year went by and having ran in several longer distance races, and a few impromptu long runs initiated by myself or friends, I was ready to shave a few more minutes off my 10k time.

First race back from Rome was the MoRunning 10k in Greenwich park with the horrendous hills. I did better than last year but only with a few seconds off. I wasn't satisfied. I could feel the training and runs I did in Rome has built me up as a stronger runner so this time was a disappointment for myself. So what did I do? I signed up for another 10k a week later.

It was the Regent's Park 10k, 3 laps of the park. I ran this once and didn't particularly enjoyed it. But now I wasn't there to run to see scenic routes. I wanted a time and a multiple-lapped course in my opinion is one of the best to run if I want to chase a time.

When I started, I began picking up runners as I started a little further at the back. I would like to think of myself as a feminist, equality is very important to me, but there is something rewarding when I only compare my race time with fellow female runners and see myself ranked slightly higher. Of course, I have a great sense of joy when I run pass male runners and them trying to keep up too.

I like to count how many female runners there are in front of me and my aim is to reel them in, and pick them up, one by one. This tactic worked very well in a lapped course as I can see who is in front of me when we turn corners. There was this one girl that I picked up, but soon after she sped past me. And I thought 'no way Jose.' so I picked up my legs and made sure she stayed behind me.

Behind me she stayed. I could hear her breathing, I could hear her steps, I could almost feel the wind gushing past me as she surge her arms while chasing me. On the third lap, one of the marshall said to me, I think you are the 3rd or 4th lady. I just thought 'no, don't say that out loud, now that girl is going to want to overtake me.' So I really gave it my all. At the downhill I picked up speed because I know if she doesn't over take me at this point of the course, she is very unlikely to do so any other parts. And I was right. I sprinted to the finish, 43.15. I turned around and she was right there. We shook hands and congratulated each other. What a strong runner and it made me so proud to have been able to play this mental cat and mouse chasing game with her. 

Worth a mention, it was also the first time my name was on the sheet that they used to call out and give out prizes for the winners. I came in 4th in my category. No mention but my name was there, next to my crew name Run Dem Crew.

Fast forward 2 months and I was standing at the starting line for the Winter Run series. Well more like climbing over the fence while almost falling, and the marshall trying to scream at us for doing so. Oops. We needed to get to the front of the first wave.

I was very familiar with this route, having done Bupa 10k 3 times before. I love this route, not only because its scenic and flat, there are hidden inclines and declines that if you didn't know about, they could actually hurt you a little during the run. Those deceiving tunnels and back streets.

Mark and Dan started before me and I wanted to stick with Dan as he was going for a time I wanted to do as well. He was running really strong and he had a big lead from me for the whole run, but I made sure he was in sight.

Notes: When I was running at one point, a spectator said to her daughter 'Look, someone wearing lipsticks' Hell yeah, a girl got to look good when she is racing.

I loved running past St Paul's and the bells were ringing, I was so elevated by that sound it must have pushed my leg harder. Also I kept something Warwick said to me a few days ago in my mind 'I love the feeling when my feet barely touches the ground.' Why have I never thought of that? I always focus on the pain my quads are having, I never care to think that if i continue to run fast, it is almost like the feeling of flying.

There were quite marshals and volunteers and as usual, I never forget to thank all of them, give them a thumb up and give them some cheer. Because in return they will give you a response so emotionally strong that it can really help you add more speed into those legs.

When we were near the finish, I did my usual counting ritual and when I see that finish line, I just had to go for it. Jamie passed me earlier on in the race and again I kept him in sight, and when I sprinted, I went right past him and heard him said 'Oh no you didn't.' At that point, the only thing going through my mind was 'Do not let him go past you again' so I just sprinted. Surprisingly I still had enough in my tank to do so until I crossed the finish line.

I felt a little strange as I knew I pushed myself hard, I felt that I ran fast, but my GPS watch wasn't working, there was no finish time screen for us to see. I just had to go with the feeling. But I wasn't sick, I didn't feel sick, and I didn't want to be sick. This worried me as I felt, what if I didn't really push myself as hard? I was so tired and out of breathe when I did my Serpentine New Year 10k.

Then, over breakfast, Mark brought me the best news I had ever wanted to hear. He checked our finish times and I finished in 42.34. A whooping 40 seconds faster than my previous PB. I didn't think I was capable for a sub 43 so quickly after I ran it, so this was the best surprise I could have asked for.

It is only February of 2015 and I still have many other races booked. I am so excited and a little nervous running into this year, and seeing what performance awaits me.

26.2 on track

TrackMafia, as previously mentioned, is where you push yourself to the limit with those around you, creating a special bond that I feel could not necessarily be achieved in other areas of my life.

These people have seen me sweat, yell, swear and many other unattractive qualities and still choose to be my friends, pushing me on towards my next goal.

Well, I believe this weekend we might have taken it to another level.

An idea that I saw last year, was of Ash attempting a marathon distance run, 26.2 miles, around the track. Now, a track is 400m long each lap, 4 laps and it makes a mile. You can do the maths. That's 105 laps.

I believe he got to 87 laps (by himself may I add, with the cheering of Track crew) and was told that the track is closing and he had to leave. That was a dream of his left unfinished.

Fast forward to 2015 January, well actually I have always had the thought about doing this ever since I saw Ash posted about it. I love a good mental challenge. I am always the one wanting to do repeats of the same thing. Some people will think that's crazy and that they need new scenery to keep their minds off things.

For me, I enjoy the repeats because I feel like I am then in control. I know what's coming, I am familiar with the route. So doing 105 laps on track didn't really faze me. Though doing it by myself did. I needed to find someone as crazy as me that would agree to this idea. Ash was out of the picture because he had an injury. So I asked Mark. We have always ran together and even though he is super fast now and has left me behind, I always enjoy his company.

'No, you are crazy' was his reply, or something similar to it. But who should I ask next? I was going through a struggle because I didn't want to ask too many people as I don't really want anyone knowing this. Because what if I failed and people asked about it afterwards? I would be mortified! Plus I didn't think I wanted that pressure of 'proving' to people I could do it.

So one thursday evening after TrackMafia, I mentioned this again with Ash and Warwick was present and I believed his ears might have perked up at the suggestion. He agreed. But I didn't know how committed he was to the idea.

Monday evening after RDC West, I asked him again. This time he was more certain with his 'yes' and thus began our 6 days mental preparation.

The last long distance run I did was back in September while I was still in Rome, 27km in mild summer weather, and I believe for Warwick it was around that time too, or a little later. Also, worth pointing out, in December when I was going through my runner's blue, I think I ran a total of 21 miles. What I am trying to say is, neither of us were really prepared.

I went into this thinking, it's on a track, when I feel tired I can just stop and all my things will be there. Water, food, phone. I won't be lost somewhere 13 miles away from central London.

I had a terrible dinner the night before and only managed to have a banana-filled vegetable and fruit smoothie with crunchy nuts in the morning. I have previously prepared this chocolate/peanut butter/oats balls as fuel. I have never been a big gel person. The last time I did a marathon distance run (again it was unofficial, I was doing the training runs with my friend) I had fruits pastilles with me.

On the day, we wanted to start at 10am, but then there was chances of snow so we postponed it to 11am, thinking it could help for the ice to thaw. Then when we did arrive, we were all late, the track was booked to be used until 12.30. I was beginning to worry that we wouldn't be able to do this challenge given all these obstacles! But nothing could stop us now.

Before Ash arrived (as the resident track photographer) Warwick and I already began our run. I didn't want to run super fast. If I could run a Boston Qualifying time (3hr35min for me) I would be happy, and after calculation that is 8 minutes/mile. In my mind I decided to break up the run at mile 10 and mile 20 so we could stop (for less than a minute) for water and fuel and back on the run again, so mentally it helped too. At mile 7 Ash arrived and made a comment that our pace was too fast (we were averaging 7.35-7.40 minutes/mile at this point). But we felt good. We were chatting, not taking it too seriously, sharing life stories, keeping our minds of the track, basically.

At mile 10 we stopped and I ate one of my chocolate balls. Had some water and we were back on our journey. We felt very fresh at that point. We were both still very familiar with this distance. Our legs were ok so we kept the pace. Conversations continue to flow and at this point, I was more aware about other people running around us, the hockey matches happening and all the dogs running around. Sun was coming out and I felt amazing.

I might have spoke too soon, around mile 17 I started to feel the muscles in my thighs. Also throughout the run my left foot had been having weird spasm where suddenly it would lose its sense and I might have limped a step. But as soon as I wriggle my toes a bit, it was ok. I am thinking this was down to the coldness. At this point Warwick kept mentioning 'Those chocolate balls.' And I just said, just think of this as a 10 mile run and that's it. We haven't ran before this and we are finishing in 3 miles. Weirdly, if I know it's 3 miles left and that equals to 12 laps, it calms me, some people might think that's the worst because you know exactly how long is left, but for me, it's comforting to know that.

At mile 20 we stopped again and this time I knew I had to have a few more calls. I ate only 1 at mile 10 and around mile 18 I could feel my stomach a little strange. I ate 3 this time round. As we took off again it took about 5 steps before my legs were moving like they should. This last 6 miles is really going to be hard. At this point we have been running for 2hr35 so the thought of possibly finishing this before 3hr35 was what fuelled me. In my head I kept doing all sorts of calculation in regards with speed, pace, finishing time, remaining time. I find that if I am focus on maths while running, it takes my mind of it a lot and it, again, calms me.

At mile 21, Ash who had been so sweet cheering us on while taking photos (I had joy trying to spot where Ash was every lap we ran) gave us the obligatory mile 21 cheer! High fives and cheers helped Warwick and I mentally, even if it's a one person crew. This is crunch time, pick up those legs and just go with it.

At mile 22 my legs felt like lead. My thighs were so heavy to pick up I really wanted to stop, so we did, for around 10 to 15 seconds, I wanted to quickly refresh my mind. On we go again and at mile 23, Warwick (finally) cracked a little and with his face in his hand, said 'I want to cry, this is why people cry when they run marathon.'

It's true, the mental and physical struggle that the distance puts you through will most definitely dig up some unfamiliar emotions, which you have no idea how to deal with but to burst it out. At one point there was a distance between myself and him but Ash reminded us to stick together and to finish strong together. So we did.

At mile 25, with 5 more laps to go, I kept a visual of a wheel and how my leg should move in a circular motion, I kept my arms up and used my core to support my now very tired lower body. I kept my breathing steady and at lap 4, I began my step counting method. Those that know me, know I am obsessed with counting my cadence at track. It helps me to remain constant and know how much and where I need to push myself to maintain my speed. 800m rep I usually get around 280 steps. 1 mile equals 560 steps. Now I am not going to be able to do that pace after just running 25 miles so I gave myself some lee way and said, 750 steps. So I counted, this kept my mind off thinking how many laps are left. I was now focused to not disappoint myself with going over my estimated steps.

Final lap, the end was so close. I sped up. Before this point we were running at 7.58-8.05 minutes/mile. But I looked at my watch and we were back on 7.32 minutes/mile. I kept going, knowing the end was near.

In fact, 26.2 miles was at a bend of the track and not the finish line, at that point, I jokingly said to Warwick 'we are now entering the ultra zone.' We kept smiling and pushing and managed to have a very strong sprint finish together.

Stopped my watch, looked at it and my heart leaped. 3 hour 24 minutes 56 seconds. We were 11 minutes faster than the intended pace and it proves to me that I am probably going to be able to run a BQ at an actual race.

It was a great day, we finished the 'race' and was immediately kicked out. The track was closing. I couldn't imagine how we would have felt if the park closed while we still had miles to go! Thinking back on this run, because it was a constant loop I lost concept of the distance we were going. The only way I felt anything was through my legs, but because we were running on track, it was much better received by our feet and knees (I am sure!) My feeling of dead at the end was definitely because of the distance and not the location. I feel I could most likely do this challenge again, or may be even step it up a notch.

All photos are taken by Ash Narod Photography

From 2014 me to 2015 me

To Cyn,

Remember, you cannot control what others think.
Just be yourself.
Do your own things, while in consideration for others.
Better yourself.
Be the best you can be.
Do not compare.
This will lead to a much less stressful life.
You will thank me for it in December 2015.

From Cyn

2014

End of 2014 is fast approaching and nothing beats an end-of-year-reflection.

Recently, specifically after moving back from Rome, I have been feeling down and this could be due to the fact that I was no longer employed by one of the biggest fashion house in the world, I am now back on the unemployed/freelance market, the weather is a little colder here than in Rome, and my future looks quite bleak. So I have been hiding away, I have not been running as much, and generally felt a little fed up with everything, while watching those around me continue to thrive and succeed in what they emerge themselves in.

However, reading this post from Bang's blog, and speaking to Miss Waite, I have decided I needed a little cheer me up and look back on what I DID manage to accomplish this year. I do feel sometimes I overlook many things, especially because they happened to me, so I don't feel it is that big of a deal… But may be they are. So here goes.

First of all, I would love to say a massive congratulation to my friends, Jen and Jen over at Stitch & Story for having an amazing year, and continue to grow. It was such a pleasure to be able to witness their determination and to be part of this. I am so honoured. Let's hope for an even better knitting year in 2015!

Then there was the Hong Kong Standard Chartered Marathon. I didn't do the marathon, but I did do the half. And to be able to finally be part of the Bridge the Gap movement in Asia was amazing, and surprisingly intimate. It was an impromptu visit home and I am sure my parents were quite happy to see me even though it was just 6 days and I was ill for 4 of them.

This race meant a lot to me (as I have previously written in an older blog post) because this is the race my dad has participated in for a long time. Unfortunately he is a little older, so he no longer competes (well that, and he could not be bothered to spend an hour refreshing a crashed website to register due to high volume of applicants in Hong Kong, because everyone is quite famously known for blindly following whatever the trend is, true story)

Anyway, to be able to run in that race, although did not achieve a time I really wanted, was still a part of a dream come true.

And the big part of 2014 was my move to Rome, Italy. To me this felt very normal and natural, as I have been away from home since I was 10 and was always moving around (between dorm rooms, from Bristol to Hong Kong, from Bristol to London and around houses in London) so it didn't feel big. It only really hit home when I was at Gatwick Airport about to board the plane and realise I didn't know how long I would be out of the UK for and then the tears started streaming down (ok, the boyfriend being there at the airport made it worse for me too).

Luckily, the move went smoothly and pretty much everything went the way I had hoped for. I found a great flat in a great location with great people shortly. Had no problem with my phone, registering for my Codice Fiscale (kind of a national insurance number thing?) and even had the best bank manager anyone could have hoped for. Whenever I thought about Alessandro, I still thought how was that possible. (Ginny would agree with me on that).

However, the main problem I had was the language barrier, oh and I had to come back after 6 months. But let's not dwell too deep into that so I could keep this post as positive as possible.

I met some great people in Rome whom I am sure will remain my friends for a very long time. Friend I made (mind you, pretty much everyone I became friends with were all from running, funny that) were compassionate, patient, encouraging and so welcoming. Never once did I feel left out and I am so grateful for that. I knew that if I had not met them as soon as I did (landed on Sunday, met them on Monday), I would have felt a lot more lonely and wanted to come back to London more.

And how could I forget my wonderful flatmate of 3 months, Sonja! She showed me how to watch a world cup match properly with all the german etiquettes (which unfortunately I have forgotten already).

My job in Rome was amazing. It taught me so much in regards to how a fashion house operates. 

Yes, the language was a problem but because I was pretty much thrown into the deep end I had to really try to stay afloat and I think that would have been the time my brain worked its hardest in 2014. Not to brag, but I was able to pick up most things at a meeting with all other design teams and the creative directors by the time I was in the company for 3 weeks. I wanted to sleep immediately after that because I was so drained, but it was fun and challenging and stimulating. Definitely a skill I do not want to lose now that I have moved back to an english speaking country.

Then there was #ChaseSummer, which, was fun and still a bit annoyed we didn't win anything, but we were the only crew in Italy that made it into the top 5 in both Running and NTC categories. That was quite a very challenging month. Running the most I have in a very long time, and proving to myself that I do have enough motivation to do a 2 hours or 3 hours NTC workout by myself! Insane, I know.

Oh, my wisdom teeth removal! Yes, normally this is classed as a negative thing, but for me it was quite a positive experience! I have been one of those lucky souls who since I was young, even if I missed a few nights of teeth brushing I never really had any problems and never had any work done inside my mouth. But this hole on the side of my wisdom tooth was really bugging me, as I often strain my tongue trying to twist it and see if I have any food debris left inside the hole. Slowly, becoming paranoid it's going to eat away my tooth, I had to go to a dentist to get it removed. Turns out, that hole was there before my tooth was fully grown anyway and it was a dead tooth, apparently. So have to get that remove. And because my bottom one has stopped growing and was covered by gum (Have I mentioned this section will be TMI?) might as well get that out too.

So, first time getting local anaesthetic, and I couldn't help but laugh once I stopped feeling my lips. It was a weird feeling and I just cannot stop laughing. My mum heard me from the waiting room. At least it wasn't screaming. Then there was the slow 90 minutes of drilling and wriggling and pulling of the teeth. Turns out, my bones are really strong (due to the amount of sports I do) and therefore making it really difficult to get the teeth out of their socket. And because the bottom roots were really close to my nerve endings, he couldn't use too much anaesthetic. So there would be moments where I was dozing off (Yes, somehow the position I was in and with the drill in my mouth I managed to doze off) and saying 'oowwwh, that kind of hurts a little.' All in all, it was good. And the dentist said it was the longest ever for him to remove the two teeth and joked by saying 'Thank god I didn't go to the gym yesterday'. He was sweating by the end. Glad I was able to be part of his daily work out.

Now the last month in Rome was quite hard. I was still working, trying to work as hard as I could for a company that I didn't know how I felt towards. Part grateful and part annoyed? But I kept working hard right until the last day and felt this was the right and the only thing I should have done.

I ran more, by myself, seeing more of Rome, and with friends, cramming in as much time spent with them as possible. Then there was the food. Trying to eat as much as possible, mainly gelato (still need to try more in London but am quite happy with the ones I have found). Then there is the headache with finding a removal company and asking for compensation from my work without overstepping my boundaries.

Alas, everything went smoothly and I am back in London. Slightly deflated but am happy to have my boyfriend and all my friends here to pick me up. And all the virtue love I receive from my family and my aunts. I am so eternally grateful for everyone that helped me.

One last thing that I would love to share is some running related facts. I finished 2013 with a great PB of 44.18 which I thought was enough for my ability. But this year, despite the lack of racing and the constant moving and stressfulness, so happy I received a new PB of 43.15. This makes me feel like I can actually may be achieve that sub 43 and get into the 42minutes zone. I am going to work hard and see where my legs take me in 2015. I do love a 10k race.

Now, onto the brighter and bigger 2015. I have set myself some goals, including running a marathon, finding a job or ways to maintain a stable incomes. Lots of projects and design ideas in my mind that I would love to be realised towards the beginning of 2015. Friends that I have made towards the end of this year that I am so grateful to have met. Friends that I have since the beginning of time and have always been there to support me whenever I felt down. Friends that I have drifted apart with but managed to grow even closer together now. Family that I have not spoken to a long time but are now speaking more than ever. And all the opportunities and chances that came along the way, because people believed in me, or felt I was capable of doing and completing.

What a long post and thanks for reading, for those that did. Have a virtually knitted scarf on me and have a happy holiday and a great new year!

C

x

Mo Madness

What a weekend it has been. Having been away in Rome where the procedure in order to obtain a place in a race is so hideous (something to do with having to join a qualified run club who will provide all the needed medical certifications) that I stayed away from entering, thus I had 6 very non-competitive months of running.

Having been back in London for close to 3 months now, this was one of the big events I was really looking forward to. To be able to race, in a run where a huge amount of crew love will be present just proved how much I have missed this city and how I would not call anywhere else home.

A little about the run itself. It is THAT crazy race in November that takes place in Greenwich Park, where we are required to run two laps of this really horrible course, where only masochistic runners will put themselves through. But aside from that, it's all fun and games.

Lots of moustaches, real or fake (note that I had a knitted one which I think might be a fashion trend that really should catch on, people, make your orders here!). Lots of testosterone, macho-macho-ness. And laughters.

The day of the race was perfect. We could not have asked for a better day. The weather was great, breezy but not choppy, fresh but not sub zero, sunny but not boiling. Thanks to the incredible organisation skills of Glenn, he has managed to entered a whooping 167 Run Dem Crew runners into the race. It was a truly RDC takeover moment. We all met up at the tent, encouraging words were exchanged and good luck pats given. Of course, numerous amounts of photos were taken and smiles exchanged.

As the race started, I was kind of stuck in the middle of the racing lines, between a guy racing in ladies bikini, and too many curious under-the-breathe mumbling, 'who are these rdc guys? What is this crew love hashtag printed on the back of tshirts?' And I thought, just you wait and see, then all your questions in life will be answered.

It took me a good kilometre and a half (in my beard, might I add) to finally break through from walls of people lining before me in the race. I must have sworn, tutted and pushed during that frustrated distance. But when I broke free, with Mark, who was the most amazing pacer, it was amazing. We were running down the hill, I saw all the other rdc shirt clad people before me. If I was overtaking any of them, I would give them a light pat, 'you good?' Or just a thumbs up and a manly all-knowing nod. Then there were those so fast who were already climbing back up the hill.

I would be lying if I say my palm was completely fine after race day and it didn't hurt from all those high fives. It really hurts.

Now, the juicy part of the race. Those hills. Oh haha, those hills. There is one around 3k mark, which is a tiny one so that doesn't really count I guess. To be honest, the whole park was very up and down, so there really wasn't a long stretch of the course where it was truly flat. But that second hill, the glorious hill where you can fly down at about sub 6min mile and feel really amazing and accomplished with yourself. Then you realise you have to run back up the exact same hill. Yea.

It took a lot out of me, these hills. Mostly because the rest of the course was not exactly flat. So I could feel my thighs and calves working and by the time I was ready to attack this monster I was quite drained already.

But the cheer crew really did make a difference. For people who are lone wolves and run by themselves all the time, they might not appreciate it and might have thought, what a nuisance, move along. But we weren't there to annoy anyone, everyone cheering are runners. They know what pain everyone is going through. So hearing their cheering was one of the most encouraging sound you could hear.
But their placement was a slight problem. They were located at a point where the following thoughts would be going through my head, and I think my facial expressions would betray me too:

- Oh downhill, yay. Oh wait, have to come back up. Sh*t.
- Just one more kilometre to go, I am dying.
- I really want to stop. That hill killed me. Oh crap, there are people at the top.
- I am so tired. I can't feel my thighs. Crap, there are people.
- I really want to stop. Oh there is Ash, I need to look good for photos.

Those are the general lines of thoughts I had. I really do feel that without the crew there, I would have stopped. I didn't think I was really able to kept attacking the course with that hill placed at 4k and at 9k. But the crew love got me through it. And also Mark's very encouraging words. He really knows how to get a very competitive person all riled up.

After the race, and I feel the need to point out the lacking of those amazing bacon sandwiches that I went there for, I joined the cheer crew and met with all those that ran, that won, that owned and that attacked the course. What a truly magical moment, and how glad I was to be part of this all accepting crew.

It wasn't the biggest improvement on my PB on my 10k course, but an improvement is an improvement. I managed to come home with 44:13, 7th lady home. Quite happy with that, but next time I will aim higher, and stick to it and not give up.

A such a huge thank you to Mark. All those moments that I was struggling, and was ready to let you go on ahead, 'go, I am dragging you back.' 'Just leave me, you can run so much faster than this.' Thank you for not leaving and believing and kept pushing me.

On and up to the next challenge.

All photos on this post are taken by Ash Narod, at Ash Narod Photography

RDC West - Track Mafia

When I was in Rome, I was very involved with activities held by Nike. Almost every Monday you will find me at NTC, and every thursday, hitting that pavements hard with the Tiber Runners. I would also head to Stadio die Marmi myself or with some friends, to crash it out there on the track, ranging from speed work (20x200m+200m) or endurance (8-12x800m), then on the weekend I will most likely be taking in scenic views along the Tiber river, or through the many parks in Rome. Not to mention all the times I would have the company of Luna the Maltese at home while listening to Leah Kim or Joselynne Boschen on NTC, telling me to keep breathing while sweating through the summer heat.

I was exercising at least an hour 6 days a week, if not more. I think the Chase Summer challenge also made me push myself a little harder too, going back out to work on my fitness a day after the extraction of two wisdom teeth.

However, now back in London, in a more dull, grey, cold, wet setting, I have found myself losing motivation ever so slightly. It might be a combination of having to look for work, and flat that is making me feel very defeated.

I am also extremely competitive with myself, as well as with others (many have had to dealt with it multiple of times) so when I see some truly amazing feat the women in my running community have achieved, I feel very empowered, yet at the same time I will a little bit useless.

I have set goals for myself, but I am always comparing, so whenever I have set any goals, I see what other people are doing and then feel a little worthless with my goals as they seem just that little more insignificant.

Some of my friends are progressing and increasing their abilities at such a fast pace, that sometimes, I can't help but feel left behind. But I only have myself to blame. I probably didn't put that hard work in, and this exact thought really beats me down, and I lose just that little bit more motivation.

To try and shake that feeling, I try to do as much exercise in a group setting as possible, submerge myself into the group encouraging, and crew love setting. And I have to admit, I do feel better. I just need to be able to feel like this at times even without those cheering on. Of course, by no means am I resentful or anything to other people's success, in fact I am so happy for all those achieving what they set out to do and becoming successful and happy. I just have yet to shake away that part of my personality, where I am constantly comparing myself with other people, and judging myself according to what other people have done.

Luckily, one of my favourite work out of the week is always in a group setting, and it is always with a bunch of, suicidal, insane people who do nothing, but their best, while encouraging everyone else alongside them. Even if I have not ran for a whole week, even if I have not exercise for a whole week, I don't think I would miss a session of Track Mafia at RDC West, unless I am not in London.

(Photo Credit: Ash Narod Photography)

Yes, the work outs are hard, but there is always the sense of security that, if you push really hard, the worst that can happen is you fall, your legs go jelly and you had to crawl to the start line, which, can only really be 200m away at the furthest. I can really challenge myself and others in this environment and that is what I love the most about it. There is also a great structure, so we stick to a work out for several weeks, so I can hopefully see an improvement in my performance throughout before moving onto the next challenge.

(Photo Credit: Ash Narod Photography)

I have been feeling blue the whole of last week, but track session had really pumped me up good and I have just done 30 minutes of weight and 30 minutes of core at home. I hope I am getting my motivation back. And I have all my friends on track to thank, as well as Coach Cory.

(Photo Credit: Ash Narod Photography)

Crafting project #1

One of the earlier posts I had on this blog, I mentioned how I would worry about my time in London, once I moved back and have yet to start a job (GIMME A JOB!)
Thought it's probably about time for a blog that is meant to be about knitting and running, to finally have a bit of knitting/crafting/sewing in it, and not just me rambling on about random things that, really, don't interest people. I hope the little projects I am about to post would be more interesting!

When I was still working at Valentino, they would always receive amazing samples and fabric and yarn options and colour cards from factories and manufacturers. Every season they would receive new ones, and so normally after each season they would throw out those that were not used, and won't be useful for the future.

I wouldn't call myself a hoarder, but when I see scraps of fabric, especially beautiful coloured, amazing material fabric my heart jumps a little and I get butterflies in my stomach. There I was, ready to leave work one evening, and I was confronted by about 5 boxes full of these materials and colour cards.

I didn't know what I was going to do with these extra material, but I just know that I couldn't let them be thrown out just like that! It was such a waste! So I carefully selected all the ones that I wanted, which is the majority, took them off their paper to reduce space needed to transport them, and carefully folding each pieces and brought them home with me.

I couldn't contain my excitement, all my friends in Rome, in London, my family all heard about how I am so excited with all these materials. Then I was asked 'What are you going to do with them?'

That's true. I haven't thought about it, and if I was completely honest, I had no idea. But I needed to make sure I had a clear goal, because if I didn't, one thing I was sure is when I return and within a few months I didn't what I would do with them, I probably would have thrown them out (or give them to Brandy!). So I started researching.

I have always been amazed with all these knitting and quilting projects I see on the internet, certain blogs I just love (I will probably upload with a list of them in another post). The beautiful colours, pattern combination and all the possibilities made it seemed natural I would make my first quilt with all these fabric scraps. Another reason was that these scraps weren't really big enough to do anything, but be decoration, what better way to utilise them than to create an even bigger piece of fabric?

So I set myself a few projects, the first one would be to make a nice small quilted cover to serve as a practice, then I would move on to bigger and better pieces once I am more settled in London and the rest of my luggages is moved in with me.

I would also make small patterned quilted hangings for my mum and friends. I was particularly drawn to religious medals when I was in Rome, so I went a bit crazy purchasing all the different kinds, and looked forward to sewing them onto the fabric as ornaments. 

Embroidery was another thing that I was very drawn to while researching all these ideas and possible projects, in particular paper embroidery. There are some beautiful wall hangings and large scale work with intricate embroidery detailing which I would love to explore also. But first I wanted to try it out again, so I was quite set on the idea of just the usual fabric embroidery as well as photo embroidery. The latter also gave me a sense of what to expect if I was to go on and doing some paper embroidering. 

These are all very amateurish, but I was quite happy with the outcome and definitely keen to start on some new paper work soon. But this is not to forget I still want to work on work for friends. I am not going to say who this is for, but if this specific friend of mine is reading this, she can probably guess it's for her because I think what I have embroidered is one of her favourite things. She will get this present soon enough.

I shall leave my blog post here, hopefully will post more in the future after more crafting projects. If anyone is interested, very keen to teach and spread the skill and joy, I accept payment in hugs and coffee and company :)