Rant #2

Disagreement is normal. That is what allow a conversation to progress, for change to happen and for improvement to take place.

However, at such a fragile and critical moment, I do feel that, there is no need to openly and publicly voice your opinion only because you have a multimedia platform ie social network. Reading different pages and seeing comments from people, those from oversea who have never really lived in Hong Kong, have not experienced what Hong Kong had been through in the past 17 years, sorry to say but you don't need to voice your opinion.

Yes, there is freedom of speech and it is even easier now, with the existance of world wide web, you can anonymously speak your mind freely but how many people have really thought about the repercussions? How many people can really take full responsibility for what they said just because at the moment they feel like saying something?

I have never voiced my opinion regarding many other political issues around the world because, even though I am interested and I like to research about it and sure I will have a stance, I am not in that situation. It would affect me but not directly. I have not lived in those countries for years, to give me the right to say what I think. I am pretty sure every words I would write for other international political issues would have went through different people's mind at time. So why would I need to express to the world what I think? I don't think my opinion matter that much, so instead of making my own assumption, or my own conclusion, I only want to continuously follow the updates, research further, really understand as much background information as possible. That is not to say I won't discuss with my friends, but what need to I have to speak so openly about these subjects say on facebook, when I live thousans of miles away?

I appreciate all the international press we have been receiving about the situation in Hong Kong, and I love reading all the different views from Hong Kong. There could be disagreement, but these would be discussed in private. After all, we want to fight for democracy so to completely shut down the opposition opinion is exactly what we are fighting against. There will always be multiple angles to an event and which angle people choose to view from is their choice. To be able to voice our opinion openly is great, and we would never want to become China, where the smallest political outbreak happens and censorship is already in place (think about instagram, the downplay of the event in HK, the lie a tv news channel put out claiming we are celebrating the national day, the censorship of hashtags invented to promote the current movement in Hong Kong)

This is where I will get subjective and voice my opinion.

For my friends who are all saying, be grateful for what we have already, we need to appreciate it, what people are doing right now is disturbing the peace and harmony of Hong Kong. 

Here are some questions to you, just so I can understand your perspective. (To be honest, these are rhetorical questions.) Why is it that when you or friends go to China you tell them to be careful, careful of what? They have law in China no, surely that can protect you? Or the people? Why? Would you like to live in a country where press is limited and controlled and skewed? A country where the rich has all the power in the world and the poor don't? Where a country, the law protects the rich and political figures and completely ignores the benefit for its everyday citizens? A country, where, if you voice a different opinion, the next day you would disappear and your family will also face the same some other time and never be found? A country where, if someone doesn't like the look or action you did, they have the potential to invent some sort of reason to condemn and arrest you? A country where they think money is everything even those they are called a communist? A country where, even its citizens don't trust any of its produce, people or law because nothing is ever real and set and stone? A country where you fear the law enforcement because they are not out there protecting you, they are out there only for the government's interest?

Well if you answer yes to all those, then ok, continue to condemn what the Hong Kong people are doing right now. Just don't complain in the future.

People often say democracy and rights are earned and not given on a silver plate. And the new political reform, and the promise of a 'universal suffrage' is a step forward already.

Oh I am sorry, I thought it was basic human rights that we have democracy and rights, and that these are only not present in a world of dictatorship? Yes, there will be misuse of these powers but that doesn't mean we don't deserve them.

From the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

Article 19: Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.

Article 21: 3) The will of the people shall be the basis of the authority of government; this will shall be expressed in periodic and genuine elections which shall be by universal and equal suffrage and shall be held by secret vote or by equivalent free voting procedures.

Why is it wrong for the Hong Kong citizens, mostly students and elderly to fight for a right that we should have, especially given the treaty that England and China signed?

'Chief executive will be appointed by the Central People’s Government on the basis of the results of elections or consultations to be held locally, and he will nominate the principal officials.' Since when have we had an election or consultations held locally? 

Hong Kong was to remain the same as before the handover for 50 years, until 2047, however, before we knew it, China has already changed our system. For those who are still only so short sighted, and only blaming people creating troubles and nuisance, well, sorry for fighting for something that was promised to us and was never given.

Sorry that we can't appreciate what china has so generouslly given us already. (What, I have no idea.)

One more thing, I am sorry, that cling film and umbrella are such dangerous weapon. May be the police should re think about their uniform, if umbrella pose such a danger, so much so that they needed to fire 87 rounds of tear gas at 9 different locations. In one night. Really now?

Lastly, what I really want to say is, why is the government so afraid of addressing its citizens? We make the city, if we are facing problems, we should be able to trust the government to listen and provide a solution. Building a fence around your administrative building when it used to be a public open area is nothing but action of a coward. And now? People really should not be pointing fingers at the protestors or the police, we should all be pointing fingers at the government. What government in the world, in a supposedly developed country, is happy to see its citizens turning against each other, and still not able to stand up and face the very apparent problems, only to keep pushing it further and further away. How many times have we requested mutual conversations and meetings? This protest would have never taken place if the chief executive or the political reform group really listened to what we wanted.

I cried for Hong Kong today.

Today, I cried for Hong Kong.

Watching live footage from different media outlets, seeing friends' updates, reading about it on the internet. What has Hong Kong become? More importantly, what has Hong Kong Government become?

The boycott held by university students and high school students ended on a momentum so powerful that Occupy Central took place 3 days earlier than planned.

I am generally not a very political person, but watching this, throughout its course really made me upset. In particular, how can the government completely ignore its citizens, and their demands? We have the right to practise freedom of speech and as a government, you need to listen to us, because you should be fearful of its citizens. We are the components for the society. In a normal society (mostly associated with a developed country) there will be a voting system in place where its citizens can chose the rightful leader, based on the kind of promises they can make, the regulations they can provide and the results they achieve. However, not with China, and has not been for Hong Kong for a very long time.

When China published the white paper in June, the way they 'expanded' on articles in the basic law, the way they claimed in 2017 they are giving us universal suffrage was the catalyst for this outrage. How dare they insult our intellectual level, by claiming this is a true democracy? And how dare they constantly push it down our throat. The worst? When we oppose against it, they come up with their own allies, saying the opposition are harming the peace for the city.

So we are not allowed to oppose to anything you say, because whatever we say, you will always have a come back, no matter how illogical it is.

This angers me. But what upsets me, is the way the students have been behaving. Peacefully, at times demanding, and yes, I agree, sometimes also without thinking of the consequences (regarding to forcing entry to the government building).

But we have to think about this, there did not used to be barriers around the building, it was public space, people could demonstrate there. It was open space for people to voice their opinion. Does this mean the government is now scared of us? They do not want to hear use anymore, they are blocking the voices of the society out.

Next, what the students are fighting for, is for true democracy. Having a committee, all members nominated by chinese government, pick a few candidates for Hong Kong citizens to choose from is not is referendum. This is like saying, a restaurants have ran out of all dishes but two, you must pick the two and you can't choose to go to somewhere else. Or, you parents let you be in a relationship, but they already have two people for you to choose from and you can only choose these two.

Then the audacity for the Hong Kong Government to create PSAs, telling to 'take it for now' and 'Universal suffrage, you really don't want your vote'. They must think we are really stupid.

And these past few days, watching the peaceful demonstration escalating into a protests, has truly been stressful. The students are unarmed, all protestors are unarmed. They only have umbrella and goggles to protect themselves against pepper spray (which in my opinion, Hong Kong Police have not had very good feedback with the way they use this method in different situations at all). And when I watch the riot police walking up and pressing hard against the protestors, violently ripping away their umbrellas and their purposefully pepper spraying them right in front of their face? And this is after a boycotting week, which means there are participants who have been out and protesting since Monday. These are the future for our city, who have exhausted themselves for our future, and they are met with such level of violence? And don't get me start with tear gas. 

They weren't only aimed at protestors, there were journalists who were attacked also. Police shouting at them saying 'Nothing to film here, put your cameras away' before pepper spraying them.

How often do you see a protest with around 50,000 participants, and not one single police vehicle is destroyed, not one bin or public property set on fire and not one shop damaged? This is how peaceful the protest has been. Yes there might have been charging towards the police. But they were unarmed, there was nothing they could have done to the police who had shields and gas masks and batons. Yet they felt that this was the level of violence that had to be met with tear gas bombs?

I believe police are only receiving and obeying orders from above, so they are also in a difficult situation. It has been nice seeing some updates here and there about police resigning on the spots and joining the protests. But there are also others, whom I feel uses excess forces, almost to an inhumane level. To those I would like to ask why wouldn't you just go a little softer on these weak citizens, who do not pose as a threat?

When it comes down to it, a lot has to lie with the current state of the government. A chief executive who refuses to meet with his citizens, or even fail to address them, is no leader. Only a coward, hiding being a facade of power. And this power, because it was not earned, will never be met with respect. Only with fear. And despair.

Controversial topic

Having just witnessed a historial moment within the United Kingdom last night made me really want to write this post. The terminologies that I use here are probably going to be incorrect as I have been following the series of events in chinese, plus I have never studied politics, law or economics (anything academic that helps shape a society). My understandings on current events and my opinions are completely based on keeping up to date with newspaper and different media outlets. My view could be skewed, and biased, but I feel comfortable enough to express them here on this personal blog.

I am by no mean someone who is on top of every single political issues around the world, but I would like to think that I still like to research into the matters and try to understand the case from different prospectives, because at the end of the day, with the world being so open and public, everything will have a consequence and it will affect almost everyone in one way or another. In my view, a lot of the political issues happening within the UK right now does not directly affect me and therefore I have been pretty out of it. But the Scottish Independence Referendum has changed that. Slightly. What can I say about it? Well, I am not scottish, heck I am still trying to become british having been in this country for more than a decade. So I don't really think my view is relevant.

But this brings me back to the main reason for posting this. I normally like to keep the matter light hearted on this blog as it's just about running and knitting. But I couldn't help but relate to the issues Scotland was facing, and the slight similarities with the problems that Hong Kong is having right now, with the chinese government.

Since the hand-over in 1997, Hong Kong was promised a high degree of autonomy, and we were to be ruled by the basic law, instead of common law which is practised in the People's Republic of China. However, that promise has not been met. Since 1997, Hong Kong has never been able to choose its own chief executive. It was always appointed, by a committee selected by the PRC government. Yes the size of that committee has increased over the years, but you couldn't help but think that those people must have done something, or be an advantage for the PRC gov in order to be selected to be part of the organisation. So what does this say about the chief executive they have chosen for Hong Kong?

Slowly but surely, Hong Kong could feel the grasp of China becoming tighter and tighter, suffocating different aspect of our city, freedom of speech and democracy being the main issues. Peaceful demonstrations are usually met with hostility from the police force and altered information through left-wing sources. Unprovoked arrest has happened in the most recent rehearsal for occupy central. Excessive use of force and violence have been shown by law enforcement. There have also been numerous times where media and journists were refrained from providing viewers with footage and information of the events because they were blocked, purposedly or accidentally, this we would never know.

Of course, there have also been series of events happening from a long time ago, casting fear among the citizens of Hong Kong, in regards to what our future is going to be like. Article 23 back in 2003 was a good example. Then there was the white paper published this year. The brutal attack on an ex-newspaper editor also fueled the anger within Hong Kong. Ng Leung Sing force through funding for the controversial rail project. The broadcasting scandal. The ongoing battle with Hong Kong becoming over populated by Mainlanders arriving through different means possible. Like I said at the beginning, I am by no mean up to date with every single political issues and therefore I am missing out a lot more other events. But these are the ones that stuck with me the most.

I can't help but feel hopeless about Hong Kong's future. I say bravo to those in Scotland who have fought long and hard for their independence. It is definitely very frustrating when you are not in control of your own country, or have to be part of the government that is controlling your land, your resource and your people yet you have no part in the decision making. I had my reservations regarding the independence. I can't be a hypocrite and be completely against their independence, considering my own hometown is fighting so hard for its own (even though its not complete independence, I guess we are fighting for equivalent to what would have been for Scotland had there been the third - Devo-max - vote.) I wont express explicitly what I had hoped for Scotland here as that is unnecessary, but all I can say is, if Scotland would have won this referendum, even with possible shock and shake up world wide, Hong Kong could have used some of that 'braveheart' momentum, wake up those that don't normally care about politics, or falsely believe that with a regular paying jobs our lives are secure, and truly fight for democracy for the next 33 years, while we still have the chance to.

I do not mean to upset anyone with this blog, I am solely expressing my own view.

C

Rant #1

It really frustrates me.
When you asked me to do something and I do it, but then you don't even look at it.
You don't criticise it, you don't compliment it, you don't think about it.
What is the point of me doing this?
I would consider this wasting mine and your time.
I could be doing something to really help you. I could be doing something for myself if you really have nothing for me to do.
But to ask me to do something, and then to ignore it completely and re-do what you asked me to do, and basically coming up with the exact same result, is time and resource wasting.

Struggle

I am not going to lie. Rome has been difficult.
Now in a way that I miss my family and friends and I feel left out type of difficult.
But for my work life, it has been a struggle.

Although it has not gone as well as I had hoped, I feel that I have really picked up the basics of the language, able to communicate on a everyday level, on shallow and easy topics with friends and colleagues in broken italian, a language which I was basically thrown into its deep end 5 months ago (4 if you take the month of august away).

Having only studied french and latin in school almost a decade ago, my knowledge of european language is not very good at all. But I was happy about this change. I was happy that after graudation, I was given this opportunity to explore a completely new city, new work space, and most of all, learn a new language that is very crucial for my choice of career.

Little did I know that I would have THIS much difficulties with the language, especially during work.

Yes, I have picked up words and sentence structures only the Roman uses (fare come Romana). But I am still struggling day after day to express myself, to show my creative side. I can receive information and do as I am told, but I was unable to share my opinions and my passion for design. This has been incredibly frustrating. Especially frustrating when the promised language lessons never took place. I continue to try my best to speak about my designs and work in as much of profession-suitable italian that I have learnt and picked up, but in the end, I am often overlooked because of this shortcoming.

I would love to be one of those people that are just a genius when it comes to language and be able to learn it in no time, especially when given the opportunity to live in said country.

I feel like I have failed.

I am still very much wanting to learn the language when I am back in London, simply because I have lived here for 5 months (and will be 6 months), I have made many italian friends whom I want to keep in touch with. I want to keep on expanding my knowledge for this language, because it is beautiful and extremely useful.

I just hope, I won't fail again when I do take it up once I am back.

Omg.

The thought of moving back to the UK is quite daunting. That means I need to pack all my 15 years back into boxes, get them shipped back, meet all my lovely Roman friends one last time, run a lot, and head back to London and hunt for jobs. Oh the joy.

And i also need to pack my things depending on what my living situation will be. Will I have everything with me as soon as I land in London? Will I need to store my items somewhere first? If so, what should I bring and pack with me that will keep me entertain for the time while I am looking for a place. Will I be able to afford everything? What if I don't find a job.

But, to calm myself, I have put together a list of things, that I will be able to do, mostly for free, in the time that I am trying to sort my life out again, transitioning from Rome to London.

- Quilting. I cannot explain my excitement when there were lots of material and swatch samples being thrown up, and I just happen to be there to see this happening. Naturally, I went through all these boxes, and picked out quite a few (or a lot...) or swatches which I am intending to do lots of things with and spend a lot of time on. Yay for free activities!

- Picture framing. This, will not be free as I am no carpenter and therefore not good with wood. But I do have a lot of my lovely mum's chinese calligraphy that I am intending to frame up finally. Her calligraphy is so so so beautiful.

- Other pictures framing. Apart from swatches, there were also lots of colour cards thrown out, which, I thought could make quite a nice wall hanging. How the assemble will go, I have yet to decide on a design.

- Even more pictures framing. Ok, I realise this whole framing thing will cost me a lot, but no harm in preparing works that I can frame later on, when I have money. Embroidery, more quilting but on a smaller scale, knitting, even drawing! Not to sound narcissistic but I have a few ideas that I think would look quite nice, given that I can do them properly, as wall hangings.

- Read. Oh em gee. So many books. Fault in our stars (thanks Jazz!), so many Murakami books. More running books. (Actually, that is quite a limited collection. Anyone got any suggestions?

- Oh yea, my portfolio. I need to prepare that. Fun. No, really, fun.

- Jewllry. I realise that I had been quite magpie-like and had been so obsessed with all these sparkly beads and things in the last year or so and made an absurd amount of jewllery. However, I have such a huge amount of these gold hoops that, actually, instead of using them as components of the necklace, I will make them the star of it. Ideas brewing in my head.

- Back to reading, been very keen to read through some chinese books that I have. ESPECIALLY the writing of University, and the writing of interpretation of the writing. It will be a hard read as the language is not modern, but I know I will enjoy it. Thanks dad for lending me the book. Promise I will read it.

- And on the topic of chinese, I am also intending to carry on writing this little dream novel that I have. For those of you unaware of the concept, dream novels are fan writings, where the fan include themselves into the story and therefore it is like it's happening to you. I did this with Prince of Tennis back when I was 17, I wrote up to 60 pages of chinese back then actually. Having re-read it many times in my adulthood and laughing and cringing, I have decided to revise it to make it more logical, and therefore also practising my written chinese, to make sure it never goes rusty!

- And finally, knit and run and draw, and eat.

I am so happy that I will probably finally be able to join the crew fam out in east for Tuesday session, and all the knitting. I cannot wait to finally use my knitting machine again. It has been 6 months and I have not felt like myself since the day I packed you away. Oh and I need to de-dent you a little. Friggin' moving companies.

So I think I will be quite entertained for a while...

C

Reflection, 15 years

Today marks the day that I would have been in the UK since 1999.
I came over when I was only 11 to study in an all girls boarding school in Bristol. It was such a strange experience. I had only been to England one time prior to that and it was a year before, I joined EF and went on a 4 weeks language course/tour with them. I had the worst time.
I was a bit of a bully when I was younger, not proud of it but I learnt a lot from my mistakes. So as a bully, I would get the group to isolate and then because I also used to be quite a bad (as in, did it a lot) liar, I lied about something. I think I lied about my birthday being in August just because I never had kids my age celebrating it with me, so I wanted to feel like people celebrated my birthday. So I lied it was in August, just so I could have my celebration during the camp. And on the day, bless them, they actually surprised me, but knowing me being a bad (bad at it) liar, I forgot and they found out and then they isolated me.
As you would have it, I then got comfort becoming friends with the girl I bullied before. Long story short, I was a horrible person and I deserved it all and it made me really sceptical about England.
Coming back a year later I was scared. And excited. This was a whole new life. So excited that even I couldn't call home the first month, I didn't care. I didn't even cry. I was THAT excited.
Then it sets it that I had to be in this foreign country all by myself, and this thought daunted on me the hardest when I came back to school in the spring term, having experienced one term here and spent the christmas holiday back home and enjoying the comfort of my family. I got back and for one week, I was terribly ill, I refused to adjust my jetlag and I cried. I cried all night and all day. I really thought about asking my mum to take me back and don't send me away again.
Fast forward 8 years and I would be leaving the school that helped shaped my teenage years, that had such tight curfews and rules but they were all for our own good, and friends that were closer than sisters because we literally were on top of each other 24/7! It was the best experience (and expensive too) I could have ever asked for and I thank my parents so much for doing this. Speaking to them as I am older I realise that it hurt them immensely too having to sent me away when I was only 11. But the education system in Hong Kong really was not suitable and this was one of their only choices.
London was fun. I partied. I studied. I designed. I danced. I kissed. I cried. I laughed. I also found love.
And now. 15 years having been in the UK. Still waiting for my citizenship. This is my only downfall about this country. I wished it was easier and I would have had it already. If I did, it would open so many more doors for me. Also, I don't even want to say how much money my family and I have poured into this country. GIMMETHATCITIZENSHIPALREADY!
Despite that, I would never change anything else about my experience, my time and my life here in the UK.

Lunedi, 01/09

So, after all those post about running, I guess I should talk about the other topic that this blog is about, knitting, if I can stay on topic.
I kind of have one of those typical design story, where I was taught how to knit and sew at a young age, and I made clothes for my dolls and then I want to pursue a career as a designer.
Well, not quite.
I was indeed taught how to sew when I was 6 by my dad, whose mum made a lot of dresses for me and was quite an inspiration. Around the age of 12 or 13 my mum taught me how to knit. I did not have the patience to use a 4mm needle to knit a Harry Potter inspired scarf with stocking stitch. So I left it for my mum to finish.
Then I wanted to be many things in my school years. A writer, a playwright, a psychologist, may be even an interior designer? I did not even know the existance of Central St Martins when my friend told me that is where she wanted to go , at age 14.
However, I was enchanted by the books and stories of Lord of the Rings, this prompt a fascination of elves and fairies and all sorts of magical creatures and their beautiful, sparkly outfits. Also Orlando Bloom with long blonde hair. (I use to vividly imagine him with that make up, in t-shirt and jeans, just to convince myself, yes, a normal person can look that beautiful in normal clothes and long blonde hair.) So I started thinking about making clothes just like theirs. So there were many trips to the art block and looking through the scrap boxes, only to find very small pieces here and there.
So naturally, I wanted to be part of and useful to the drama department in school, helping out with the costume cupboard, that was fun. Fun time with my good friends Yaz and Rachel (who sadly, is no longer with us. She had a beautiful soul. RIP).
Then, I got into Visual Kei and before long, I was dressed head to toe in laced dresses and bloomers and just too much lace for one person at any one moment. I made all those clothes myself because they were expensive to purchase (or I had no idea where to buy them). Plus I found books in japanese that taught you step by step how to sew these dresses. What could go wrong? From here on, I participated in Cosplay too (costume playing for those of you who don't know, and it was an awesome pass time!)
I was asked by my dad many times during this period of my life, around 3 years 'do you think you look good?', 'Why do you dress like this? why do you want to be so different?', 'Does it make you feel good when people look at you?'
Naturally, as a rebellious teenager looking to be different from everyone else, I had replies like 'I don't care what anyone else think, I am my own person. I will do what I want.' And these were words that I went by when I enrolled into the foundation course at Central St Martins.
But slowly throughout the 5 years there, foundation and placement year included and numerous internships and part time jobs later, I found that my aesthetic has majorly shifted and I almost cannot recognise myself 5/6 years ago. If you see me now, I wear the most non-exciting outfit in the most comfortable shoes I can find (Flyknit Frees. Not a product placement on purpose, I just really love them). My wardrobe basically consists of stable and understated pieces that I can wear years after years. I love throwing things out, giving it to charity, or reusing anything that I have made. But slowly, I am finding it more difficult to get rid of things because everything I own, I have had them for years and I wear them all the time and I love them all. I guess this is a good thing. Easy to pack up and very friendly to the environment.
Anyway, that's off topic. Knitwear.
I guess I can say I have had many years of experience with knitwear now, especially machine knitting. I love churning out pieces for myself and friends. Less so for myself for the exact reason I mentioned last paragraph. There is still so much to learn but I am so grateful for the most recent experience I have. Of course I wish it could have lasted longer, but alas, I am sure something will come along (hopefully better? But how to top V?)